a little something for me

Its been one crazy year for me. I've had my share of health challenges this past year and a half. Its been a huge struggle for me because I used to be so fit and healthy.

Anyways, its been a long year trying to get back to at least normal for me on top of the usual stresses that go with being married to a grad student, having 3 kids and figuring out our future when curve balls get thrown our way.

To say I was a little depressed over everything was an understatement. It just all felt so heavy and the road back to normalcy just seemed too hard to travel. It was much easier to let me kids watch tv all day while I sat in bed watching season after season of shows on netflix.

Then one day, a friend posted something on FB about doing a fitness challenge. It was just what I needed to kick my butt in gear and actually get out of bed and start moving. It'd been awhile since I worked out because I'd had a major health issue come up a few months earlier. It was hard for me to even walk up the stairs to do the laundry without feel terribly out of breath and dizzy. 

Starting the challenge helped me realize that if I want to be happy with how I am and to deal with everything that had happened then I had to do the work. 

I needed to take the time to work on me. 

 Getting married and having 3 kids was and still is my greatest joy. But somehow in all the drama of all my health issues, I lost what made me.. well, me. I missed doing things that I used to love and actually do. 

 Here is a picture of me after working out

This, is one of my favorite workouts. I LOVE Zumba!

So I decided to start working out again. It was very hit and miss with me still recovering and man, it seemed to take forever, but I finally made it to a place where I am just as much a priority as my husband, kids and house are.

I mean, isn't the wife the center of it all, anyways? Why not make yourself a priority, too.

So, I took time to myself to work on myself. And guess what?

Everything else is better too. I'm a better mother to my children, a better wife and I find that I am happier on a daily basis. I'm no longer consumed with grief over my experience of the past, but I am able to move on. 

I used to not be so great at keep up the house. It seemed no matter what I did it just always looked awful and chaotic. Now that I'm not chaotic, neither is my house. 

I needed to find something that made me happy for me. 

Not for anyone or anything else.

I'm not a Supermom.. I'm a Super Mom.

Know the difference? I'm finally realizing what it means to me. It wasn't an epiphany or a light bulb suddenly being turned on. It came on slowly. But it did happen.

I am not a Supermom. I am not perfect and I don't want to me. I don't want to live with the pressure of failing and everything falling apart. That being said, there is nothing wrong with always having a nice looking home or looking put together, its just not me. At least not 24/7.

The thing is, I'm more non-perfect than perfect. At any given time there will be toys on the floor, dirty laundry baskets in every room and more than one dirty dish in the sink. My kids are often cranky an I have less patience than I would prefer to have. But, I work hard to keep the house from being a disaster zone and make sure that my kids aren't going hungry. 

But I'm not feeling guilty. Nope, that a thing of the past. (at least for today). I'm trying hard to keep the piles form over taking everything. I've been doing really well with keep the dishwasher loaded with dirty dishes and at least keeping the table clean. 

I made my kids (4,2,2) my own version of chore charts. They were actually very excited about it. I went over what would be expected of them (complete with pictures) then they went right to work to make sure their chores got checked off. This morning, my son even asked em to make sure and help him make his bed so he could get a check. I don't know what it is about checks but he does just about anything for them!

    I don't care if my floors aren't all clean and the living room is in bad need of a vacuuming and there are 2 baskets of laundry begging me to fold them... but I think I'll sit back with my sandwich and bag of chips and watch my favorite show. Until next time, what are you up to?

~ Samm

Welcome, I'm Samm.

Hey there. Welcome to my new blog. I'm Samm. I'll introduce myself in a minute, but first I want to tell you why I'm starting this blog.

I've been going back and forth between deleting this blog or actually starting it. I decided that even if nobody ends up reading it, I want to start it. For myself. This blog is dedicated to all those other moms out there who struggle every day to be the "perfect" mom, of course that include me. I might as well be the mascot for the club. Because I'm the epitome of struggling to be the "supermom." 

   Here's the thing. I'm SO OVER trying to the mom who does everything and looks good while doing it. And hopefully, if you're here reading this, you are too. So, here we are, welcome to my journey of ridding myself of guilt and self-torture over.... nothing. :)

So, without much ado... I'm Samm. I've been married for 5 1/2 years (almost). I have 3 wonderful children. I love reading and surfing the web. I love playing with my kids (while they're not being annoying). I enjoy cooking but only for fun, I actually wish I could have someone make dinner for me. I really do enjoy baking but that's because I get to eat all my hard work. AND that brings me to my love/hate relationship with exercising. I try and work out every day but it usually turns out to be every other day. Oh, ya know, I can go a few days on but then I will usually have an extra stressful day that inevitably mean no time for exercising. But don't worry, I do my best. 

Isn't that all that we can ask of ourselves?